Weekly Couple’s Challenge #1: Considering Your Partner’s Perspective

We’ve all heard the expression “you must walk a mile in another person’s shoes to understand them”, and it’s typically true. The phrase isn’t literal, but it has a purpose. You should consider how your actions, words and thoughts impact other people. Before you assume, you should look at a situation from the other persons’ perspective.

For this week’s couple’s challenge, consider walking in your partner’s shoes and looking at things from your partner’s perspective.

All too often we get caught up in our daily lives. Slowly, we all become slightly self-centered – even if we don’t intend to. By doing so, we start to ignore how we impact our partner’s life or how things look from our partner’s perspective. By both of you stopping and taking notice, you just might resolve any tension creeping up in the background.

The Reality

No matter how unselfish you feel you are, the reality is every person operates as the center of their own world. Even those who devote their life to others still do so from their own view on life – and this is entirely natural. It doesn’t make you self-centered or a horrible person. In order to survive, it is only natural to focus on the world from your own point-of-view.

So, if you’re operating from your point-of-view, where do you think your partner is operating from? His own. By stopping and thinking about how and why your partner operates the way he or she does, you may just find yourself avoiding arguments and misunderstandings.

Understanding

You can cope more efficiently when you stop and look at every situation from your partner’s perspective. Remembering that you all operate from your own view point, you may just realize that the majority of the time your partner isn’t set out to upset you, inconvenience your life or even insult you. Instead, your partner is operating in a way that makes it efficient for him – as part of his human nature.

Your partner has just as many demands placed on him as you have placed on you. You both have to focus on your careers, personal lives and each other. To cope with these demands, you do what is efficient and comfortable to you. Your actions and your partner’s actions are driven by your physical need to operate from your own view point – not others.

Challenge One Another

For this week, challenge yourself and your partner to take on each other’s perspective. While it may be difficult at first, the results are more than worth it. Take time to walk in your partner’s shoes – recognize how he sees his world, the demands and responsibilities he carries and how he handles it all. Rather than blame him for how he behaves, ask questions to understand him better. In the end, his view point should be just as valuable as your own.

When partners appreciate where one another are coming from and understand that each has their own perspective, it is a lot easier to drop the unnecessary resentment toward one another and work better as a team. In fact, it makes the entire marriage process a lot more efficient and well…fun.

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