Sex and Men

sex and intimacyMost men will try to play it cool and pretend like sex is no big deal to them. They initiate first contact, take control of any intimate decision-making, and act confident while they are having sex – so most women assume that they don’t share the same insecurities.

Men are just as insecure about sex as women, although many of them will not admit it. Even if you have been married for a long time and have enjoyed sex numerous times together, a man’s insecurities can still interfere with his performance. This post will explain men’s insecurities about having sex and how women can help them feel more secure.

Physical Fitness Insecurities

Men are insecure about how they look physically, especially when they are naked. Most heterosexual men find the male body unappealing and they are unsure why women are attracted to them. If they are overweight and not able to handle the physical act of sex without excessive sweating, they become so insecure that they think the woman must find them disgusting and want to stop. Assure your man that this is not the case. Women who want to receive compliments on their appearance should give their men the same compliments. It will improve his confidence and his sexual performance.

Fear of Being Rejected

Because men are usually the ones to initiate contact, they often worry that their sexual advances will be denied. If they are rejected too often, they will become insecure about even trying to have sex. If you are not in the mood or you don’t have time to have sex, make sure to tell your man that you still want sex with him, but you will have to postpone it until later on. Let him know that you will be waiting in anticipation just as much as he will.

Worried About Their Stamina

Men want to last as long as possible. They don’t want the woman they are with to be disappointed with how brief the sex might be or their ability to control themselves from having an orgasm. Sometimes sex will only last a few minutes, especially if it has been awhile since the last time the man has had sex. Make sure to let him know that you are satisfied and try to do things that may help him last longer, like slowing down your rhythm or changing position before he reaches the point of release.

Women are hard to please and a good man will do whatever he can to please the woman he loves, which unfortunately can create insecurities, especially in the bedroom. Make sure to build your man’s confidence and assure him that you are still attracted to him and satisfied with the sex life you share. It will result in better sex for both of you.

The Female Brain During Sex

Young sexy woman flirting and seduce at homeWithout a doubt, the physical aspect of sex feels good, and the orgasms can be phenomenal. Still, when a woman has trouble achieving an orgasm, she can feel extremely unsatisfied with her sex life, and herself. In fact, not having orgasms can cause a drop in the female libido.  In addition, if that is not bad enough, her partner might think they are doing something wrong between the sheets, preventing that fiery release. The truth of the matter, however, is that the inability to achieve an orgasm is caused by many factors. Understanding these factors, as well as how orgasms really happen, can help you and your partner to find ways to make your sex life far more satisfying.

Why Can’t I Have an Orgasm?!

There are many reasons why a woman may not be achieving an orgasm during sexual intercourse.

While sex feels good, it takes more than the act itself to get a woman in the right mood and right frame of mind for satisfaction. The body may be involved, and sexual intercourse plays a role in bringing about the orgasm. However, brain science plays an even bigger role, as it the brain is the body’s message center. The brain sends messages of pain, pleasure, and emotion throughout the body. It also controls and responds to genital stimulation. If the brain is not sending the right messages, your body is not going to respond with the perfect ending to sexual intimacy.

If you have had a child recently, between lingering pain, added stress, and sleepless nights, odds are, your brain is saying, “Not tonight, Dear.” Stress from work or life in general, body pain, chronic illness, and depression or other mental health concerns, can keep you from getting in the mood, and if you do decide you want to have sex, these factors might stand in the way of an orgasm. Furthermore, women are different from men. Men are turned on fairly easily, and they are typically ready for intimacy within moments. Women, on the other hand, need to be romanced, relaxed, and warmed-up for their desire to fill to overflowing. While foreplay is definitely an important aspect of this, a woman’s mind also needs to be prepared for intimacy by making her feel comfortable, relaxed, secure, loved, and desirable.

Neurobiology and Intimacy

Neurobiology, or brain science, teaches us how the brain works. Our brains are message centers that help us to identify and relate to our own experiences, our emotions, and awareness of ourselves and the world around us. Each person, although similar in some ways, has vastly different thoughts and experiences. This applies to sex as well, and for the woman who is experiencing any intimacy issues, the brain can be both her friend and her enemy. Learning how to cope with stress, to relax more, and to take time out to focus on romance and intimacy -without allowing other aspects of life to creep in and ruin the moment – can help women to get a handle on their concerns over a lack of orgasm, bringing newfound vigor to their sex lives.

Sex and Finances

relationshipIn sex and relationships, couples and financial problems often lead to disaster. While couples may not intend to turn their relationship into a power struggle over money issues, this is exactly what can happen when money becomes the emphasis and blame is displaced or blown out of proportion. It takes two to tango – both parties contributing to the financial problems in some way, even if unintentionally – and it takes two to work together to solve the problem. Arguing and pointing fingers only turns your once peaceful tango into a frenzied chicken dance. When financial stress threatens your relationship, it is time to look at the root cause of the problem, identify solutions, and join forces to get your finances on track and keep your relationship intact. True love does not die just because you experience a cash flow problem.

Financial Stress and Sex

Brain science reveals that stress of any kind can throw cold water on your once hot and heavy sex life. Moreover, with financial stress being one of the leading causes of relationship tension and breakups, it is definitely a stressor that can curb your intimacy, despite sex having a reputation for relieving stress. After all, it is difficult to get in the mood if all you can do is to think about your financial troubles and fight with one another.

Whether it is financial struggles or some other cause, when sex and intimacy tae a nosedive in a relationship, chances are, the relationship is headed for a few roadblocks, if not some serious trouble. It is not that sex is the most fundamental aspect of a relationship, but when couples fight and sex and intimacy fall to the wayside, one partner or the other, if not both, is bound to take this as a sign that their partner is no longer interested and that the end of the relationship is near. Yet, armed with the right tools and putting forth effort to restore your relationship, gain control of your finances, and reprioritize, financial issues only need be a temporary speed bump on the road to a happy and healthy relationship rather than a sign of the end times.

Overcoming Financial Issues in Your Relationship

  • Do not play the blame game. Your partner is not the enemy – your financial problem is. Whether the issue is job loss, illness, overspending, unexpected debt, or something else, attack the financial issue as a team instead of attacking one another.
  • Stop complaining and start being proactive.
  • Seek the professional advice of a financial advisor to determine the appropriate actions to take to get your finances back on track.
  • Live within your means. Learn to budget. Prioritize needs over wants. Save up for big purchases, Avoid instant gratification. Live on a budget. Remember, those with a SPAM income cannot expect to live a caviar lifestyle, and even the caviar class has been known to go bankrupt as well.
  • Keep that spark by balancing work and your home life. Spend time together alone and with the kids. Leave work at work, or devote certain hours to work at home. But make time for your spouse and family so you can love and appreciate one another and can build a strong bond that helps you to fight adversity TOGETHER.
  • Communicate. You and your partner should communicate openly and clearly about everything, including financial issues. Create a budget together, discuss all bills and expenses, shop together, and never commit financial infidelity. If there is a major expense or purchase on your mind, discuss it first. Surprise debt, especially on top of existing debt, is a recipe for a confrontation.