Improving Low Sex Drive

Unfortunately, many women and some men suffer from a low sex drive. It is estimated that almost 40% of all women and about 10% of men have issues with a lack of libido at some point in their lives. Fortunately, there is usually an explanation and remedy for their lack of sex drive.

Here are five helpful tips for improving a low sex drive.

Find the Reason for a Lack of Sex Drive – Quite often, women (and sometimes men) will experience a low sex drive because they are not physically or emotionally feeling their best. It could be something as simple as a headache or nausea or something more direct like vaginal dryness. It can also be caused by emotional insecurities, exhaustion, or depression. The first step in treating a low sex drive is determining the root cause.

Treat the Reason First – Unfortunately, you won’t be able to revive your sex drive until you are able to treat the real reason behind your lack of libido. Once you have identified the cause of your low sex drive, the next step will be searching for a solution. In most cases it will involve explaining your personal situation to a medical professional, which could be uncomfortable for some people. Always keep in mind that there is nothing abnormal about a low sex drive and that it is best to share this with a physician in case it is a sign of a more serious issue.

Set the Mood for Lovemaking – The phrase “not in the mood” is often used by people who suffer from a low sex drive. Sometimes it is a cover up for physical or emotional problems and sometimes the person is literally not in a sexual mood. In all cases, romance should be brought back into the equation any time your sex life is lacking its usual passion. You can quickly set the mood using simple things like music, candles, and lingerie.

Go Back to the Beginning – Many married couples will get into a bland sexual routine of skipping right to the “good” stuff. If your spouse’s sex drive is lacking its usual interest, try being as flirty and affectionate as you were in the beginning of the relationship. Always remember that gentle touching and kissing is just as important to the sexual experience as the physical act of sex.

The Something New to Spice it Up – If reverting to romantic moments from your earlier days does not reignite the fire, try the opposite. Purchase a risqué toy or outfit, try role playing, or any other fantasy that comes to mind. Make sure to always discuss your intentions with your lover or spouse first, so they have an opportunity to share their thoughts and fantasies.

Although a low sex drive is not an incredibly serious medical concern, it is something that deserves your attention, especially if you are married. Sex is a wonderful way to connect physically and emotionally with another human being and it shouldn`t be ignored. Hopefully these five steps will boost your sex drive and make it easier to enjoy sex with your partner.

Falling in Love – The Brain

shutterstock_63078523Psychologists have demonstrated that it takes most people between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide whether or not they are attracted to another person. It is an almost instant feeling that is caused by a chemical reaction in your brain.

What makes us fall in love with a particular person?

Our brains are actually what entice us to fall in love. Love is one of the most exhilarating of all human emotions, and it is driven by brain chemicals and sexual hormones. Our bodies can become suddenly attracted to someone else based on how our brain responses to the person’s body language and tone of voice. Researchers have demonstrated that it has little to do with the actual content of the conversation.

Love Starts with Lust

Unfortunately, love at first sight is actually lust at first sight. The initial chemical reaction is considered to be more of lusting for each other that is driven by oestrogen and testosterone. It is the first stage our brain goes through when we are interested in someone, and it can lead to love if it is nurtured.

Lust Turns into Attraction

The next stage in love is attraction, which is also caused by a chemical reaction in your brain. Attraction can be broken down into three main neurotransmitters: norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. In most cases, the feeling of falling in love triggers your stress response, which increases your blood level of norepinephrine (adrenaline). These chemicals can cause your palms to feel sweaty, your mouth to feel dry, and your heart to race.

The release of dopamine during attraction gives you an intense rush or pleasurable feeling that makes you want to spend more time together and the lack of serotonin found in love-struck couples is what makes your brain block out potential issues or problems in the relationship. The entire attraction stage in the relationship changes your natural thought process and is the reason why it takes so many people so long to realize they are in a bad relationship.

Attraction Becomes Attachment

Once you have spent so much time together and the chemical reaction caused by your initial nerves wears off, you will have already become attached to the other person. Researchers believe that there are two critical hormones that inspire this feeling of attachment: vasopressin and oxytocin.

Vasopressin and oxytocin are both powerful hormones that women and men produce when they have an orgasm. They are sometimes referred to as the cuddle hormones and they are released to strengthen the couple’s bond after having sexual intercourse. A couple’s bond will become stronger the more often they have sex. The same theory also explains why so many couples seem to fall out of love once they stop making love.

Lust, attraction, and attachment can all cloud our better judgement because we are not directly in control of how our brain will react to another human being. This brain science doesn’t mean that love isn’t real or valid. The chemical reactions shouldn’t be strong enough to keep two people together if the relationship is lacking trust, compassion, and commitment. In most cases, your brain is a good judge of character and will connect you with someone that can transform the chemical reaction into a true love for each other.