Together But Separate – You in Relationship

Young woman - gardeningRelationships can often be complex and yet remain wonderful at the same time. Having a connection with another person is a feeling that most people long for and search for. Finding it can often mean absorbing it like a sponge. A person loves the way it feels so much that they can often get consumed by it. What happens then?

The one mistake people often make when they get into a relationship is that they forget that there are two people within the relationship. One person can often forget that they have their own hopes and dreams as well. So they walk down a path doing what their partner loves, supporting their partner to the point that they forget about themselves, in the end forgetting who they are as an individual.

Taking some time for yourself to do the things that you love to do is not a bad thing. Each person needs their own time and their own space. You both need to do the things that you love and remember that even though you have separate goals it does not mean that you cannot achieve them together.

Having personal goals within a relationship does not mean failure. In fact, maintaining those goals and going for them can actually make you a better person, which means a better partner within the relationship. Your goals can be large or small ones. It could be something as simple as you want to walk seven miles a week. That doesn’t mean your partner has to be by your side for those seven miles, although that would be a bonus. It means you have a personal goal that you want to accomplish because it will make you feel good, but most importantly it’s something that “you” want to achieve for yourself. Having personal goals enriches you as a person. Again, remember that when you are a better person for yourself then you are a better person for the relationship over all.

You never want to look back on something and wonder what if. You also don’t ever want to let go of the things that you hoped to achieve before the relationship, because then you may look back and resent the relationship on some level. Plus if your partner is constantly achieving their goals and dreams while you put yours on the back burner for them, it can often build a wall between the two of you.

Take time to remember even the smallest things like your hobbies. If you love to garden then take some time to plant the things you love and tend to your garden. Perhaps you love working in the wood shop and building things. If so, then take some time to do that. Doing the things you love can be therapeutic and actually recharge you.

The bottom line is to always remember that there are two of you in a relationship, but it’s also important to remember that a relationship is made up of two “individuals.” Each person has their own goals, passions, dreams, and desires. Remembering that will make you a better person overall. In the end, the result is a stronger relationship.

Sex and Relationships: Coping with Limited Privacy When Family Move In


In sex and relationships, couples can face a difficult challenge when other people move into their homes. Whether it be friend, family, or just a roommate in general, one or the other partner, or even both partners, can begin to feel as though their home and their privacy has been invaded, and this feeling of imposition can be difficult to face. Many experts agree that couples should not allow family, friends, or roommates to move in with them, as it strains both relationships in the end. However, we live in a difficult era where people are still attempting to recover from a serious economic crisis. It is a tough decision whether to bring someone else into your home or not when you need the financial boost.


Even if the person or people who move into your home have good intentions, it is difficult to cope with simply having someone else in the house all the time. Even if they leave occasionally for work or other activities, you have to deal with having their stuff in your space, their messes, and what may seem like a loss of control over your own home After all, you want your rules to be observed, but you also want to keep the peace. Having your own space is important, and if there is a lot of chaos in the home due to added residents or just someone who likes to talk your ear off or seems to interrupt things or take up time you want to spend with your partner, you can almost feel violated.

[Continue reading…]