Sexuality, Desire, and Intimacy at Midlife

Many women complain about their sex life at midlife. Hormonal changes and menopause, stress, fatigue, and health problems all contribute to the level of desire a middle aged woman possesses. It s not necessarily true that women don t desire sex at this stage in their lives. In fact, they might desire it mentally but their bodies just don t always want to cooperate. The mental desire cannot always make up for the lack of physical desire, and women often find themselves frustrated by a lack of libido that leaves them feeling less than desirable. This concern is compounded when a middle aged woman is involved with a man who has a healthy libido.

Lack of Sexual Desire Leads to Miscommunication and Misunderstanding in Relationships

Not all middle aged women experience a drop in libido. In fact, some claim the sex is better than ever. However, those experiencing a loss of sexual desire often feel ashamed, alone, and misunderstood. While the man in a woman s life might actually understand, the woman can become easily frustrated and embarrassed by sexual advances when she just doesn t feel it, and she could very well misinterpret this to mean that he does not understand or respect her. Such miscommunication and misunderstanding can hurt a couple s relationship.

Sexual intimacy is an important factor in relationship. It s not just about the physical release achieved through sexual intercourse; it is about bonding, affection, and intimacy. If sexual desire in middle aged women is a growing concern, it is important to be open and honest, discussing the matter between partners and addressing solutions that could spark the fire once more.

Talking about Lack of Libido, Finding Solutions

If a woman wants her man to understand her lack of sexual desire at middle age, she must open the door of communication with her partner by being honest, exploring causes, seeking solutions, and clearly stating her expectations and boundaries. A man who truly cares about a woman will understand and will try to help her to get through this difficult situation. Communication with her partner is not the only place where communication is vital. If lack of libido becomes a serious concern, middle aged women should consult a doctor to find out the cause of their problem and to explore numerous solutions for bringing back that sexual desire.

Tips and Possible Solutions

  • Be honest with yourself, your partner, and your doctor.
  • Combat the effects of decreased hormone levels and natural body changes with lubricants, hormone replacement creams, a healthier lifestyle, Kegel exercises, and minimally invasive surgery.
  • Consider the benefits of hormone replacement therapy.
  • Both partners must be patient with one another.
  • If you constantly tell yourself that you are too tired for sex, too stressed, or too whatever to enjoy intimacy, your body might begin to believe it and respond accordingly.


Lack of sexual desire at middle age is not the end of the world for a woman. With a little effort, you can bring that desire back.


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