Intimacy Boosting Tips for the Long Haul

shutterstock_130585646When you find that special someone, you feel as though the intimacy could last a lifetime. It’s the perfect relationship. You’re able to talk effortlessly, you can share your deepest, darkest secrets and you can’t get enough of one another. Once the long haul sets in, that deep connection stays strong, but you may not have the same closeness you did when you first started out.

As with anything in life, a relationship and the intimacy that comes with it takes a lot of work. You have to maintain it, perform annual maintenance and develop intimacy that lasts a lifetime.

Be There, when You’re There

There are a lot of distractions in life – cellphones, computers, games, etc. When you’re with your partner, how often are you actually with them? Do you sit and converse or are you multitasking your attention with other things around the house? Take some time out of your day and spend a little of it with your partner. It doesn’t matter how busy you both are, a few minutes a day will make a difference.

Keep Eye Contact

When you stare into the eyes of your partner, you’re being intimate. Eye contact is a way to socialize and connect with a person. Keep the eye contact alive during conversations and don’t be afraid to make yourself a little vulnerable from time to time.

Show Affection, Physically

When you use physical affection toward one another, you’ll not only feel great, you’ll notice your oxytocin levels increase. This is the feel-good hormone that gives you the “love” effect. It can help increase intimacy and, of course, boost your sex drive.

Listen

If you want to be more intimate with your partner, you need to actually listen and pay attention to what he or she is saying. While this sounds rather easy, a lot of couples seem to forget this over time. You need to block everything out – such as your laundry waiting for you in the dryer or the to-do’s you have at the office. Just tune out your own needs every once in a while and pay attention to your partner. Actively listen to what they’re saying and be attentive.

Be Available

If you’re emotionally shut off from the rest of the world, you’re holding out on your partner. Your partner needs to know the intimate details. By being available, you are reminding your partner what is special about you, what made him or her fall in love with you and appreciate you. Try to make it a priority to sit down and share the day-to-day activities of your lives together. Consider talking about what is going on at work, what you’re hoping to do next weekend and even talk about your dreams and aspirations.

Be Unconditional

Too many couples have conditions to their love. If you expect your partner to change, you’ll be disappointed when he cannot. Love your partner for who he is – including any downfalls you have found. Your partner needs to know he’s accepted for who he is – not what you wish he was.

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