How Becoming a Parent Affects Your Relationship and Love Life

Becoming a parent can have devastating effects on your relationship, especially the sex and intimacy part. Expectant parents invest much time with the preparation of the baby’s arrival. There are classes to take, books to read, and little clothes to buy. Regardless of how prepared parents are, the reality of caring for a baby is often tremendously overwhelming. As your household grows from two to three, your current relationship with your partner is bound to be altered in some way.  Find out how becoming a parent affects your relationship and love life, some ways to deal with this life changing event, and ways to have sex after baby.

Handling Conflicts

Having a new baby in the house can affect the way you handle conflicts. As disagreements arise, make time to discuss the issues. Having a new baby creates many added responsibilities, leaving less time for hobbies and fun. For many women, this can lead to conflict and resentment toward the male partner. Try to avoid generalizations like, “You don’t help me enough.” These tend to make people get defensive. Instead, try an approach using “I” statements. For instance, say, “I would be grateful if you would help me with the baby more.” Also, bringing up the past will only make the conflict worse. Avoid using past mistakes when handling your conflicts. Remember, constant conflict between you two can alter sex and intimacy. Keep the mood playful and fun whenever possible.


Becoming a parent can affect the way you communicate. Communication is a necessary tool to mollify anger and prevent further arguments. Parents can get so entwined in providing for the baby that they omit each other’s needs. Take time to talk to each other, be open, and express your ideas, concerns, fears, and wants. If something is troubling you, tell your partner, but be sure you do this at the right time. Don’t start a discussion about the dirty clothes that are piled up when the baby is crying. Instead, make time to communicate during baby’s naps or after he has gone down for the night.

Alone Time

Most new parents find that a new addition to the family affects their alone time. Making time for sex and intimacy is crucial for the survival of a relationship. Even though there are now three in the family, the two of you need your alone time to keep your relationship strong. Finding time for sex is often difficult with a new baby in the house. Try planning a ‘date night’ each week. Schedule a sitter or get a family member to babysit for you. Another way to improve sex and intimacy is to stay up after the baby goes to sleep for special time to connect. Remember, one of the best gifts you can offer your child is a good relationship between the parents.

Libido and Sex after Baby

Having a baby greatly affects some women’s libido. Lack of sleep, adjusting to a new body image, and hormones all create a decreased libido for many women. The first thing to do is to get adequate rest. Sleep refreshes you so you can regain interest in sex and intimacy. Also, pay attention to your changing body. Some women find that vaginal dryness is a problem after the baby is born. Use lubricants if necessary and make time for foreplay. If you have a persistent depressed mood that affects your libido, consult your doctor. Post-partum depression is a common condition that can affect your libido.


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