Bringing Vulnerability Into Relationships

One of the most intimate qualities we can bring to our relationships is vulnerability.  By definition, we are putting ourselves out on the line in a weak or susceptible position.  With that being said, many people are afraid of vulnerability and tend to push it away as they are afraid of rejection.  However, what if being vulnerable is what brings in more joy and even more love to our relationships?

Referring back to intimacy (previous article here) coming in different forms and definitions for both men and women, one of the most important links to fulfilling intimacy is to be vulnerable.  If intimacy is about building up the relationship and establishing a connection with one another, vulnerability is ingredient that really makes you be seen and understood by your partner.

In order to experience vulnerability to the fullest, one should feel worthy of love.  Being whole-hearted and present in our connections and relationships will help to increase the worthiness feeling.  Often times this is difficult as there is no guarantee that when you open up to being whole-hearted that you won’t get hurt.  To feel vulnerable is to be present, as in those moments, we are raw with the available space open for intimacy.

The connection to our own vulnerability is the authenticity of not being perfect and accepting that.  Not being true to ourselves has it’s physicality’s as well.  As body language changes and blood pressure rises, the person you are not being authentic in front of will likely notice.  But that’s what vulnerability is – and if your partner is also worthy of love themselves, then you are more likely to be on the same page and accept one another which leads to open up more intimacy between the two of you.

We tend to numb vulnerability as it is the core of fear, shame and struggle for worthiness.  Think of the ways that we, as a collective whole, numb out not only in relationships but also other situations around us.   Did you know that America has the most in-debt, addicted, medicated, obese, cohort adults in our history?  Part of the reason why this could be is because we do not want to feel these emotions, so we numb them out with other substances (i.e., food, alcohol, medications).  When we numb out parts of of life, we also numb joy, gratitude, and happiness.

One way to practice vulnerability, and to un-numb ourselves, is to believe that we ourselves are enough.  That what we have to offer and what we are open to receive is enough. When we believe this, we are kinder to ourselves and those around us.  Connect into your own vulnerability by being honest with yourself.  This will help to bring in the joy and happiness, not only to your relationship, but to your whole life.

When connecting and concentrating on being vulnerable with your partner, remember to create a safe space for communication.  You want to feel safe and trusted, as well as offer a safe haven and trust for your partner.  Be open and honest with one another, while keeping an open mind for your partners opinions and beliefs.  Remember in those moments that vulnerability is the core of fear, shame & struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birth place of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

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